The Cynical Counterpoint Op-ed Swim Report

May 30, 2021

The Cynical Counterpoint Op-ed Swim Report

Swim Report, Today, May 30, 2021: The cynical counterpoint op-ed perspective

Me, struggling to go faster with 3.9-knot ebb while passing the San Francisco skyline

We actually had to swim instead of float on the first leg from the Bay Bridge to Alcatraz because the miserable ebb was only 3.9 knots. We felt cheated the ebb flowed less than 4 knots. What a total rip-off. It took 43 minutes. It should have been less time. Stupid ebb. Where was ebbzilla when we needed it most?

But it gets worse! The stupid ebb at Alcatraz wouldn’t pause for us to take photos, so we didn’t get any great shots or compromising images of swimmers at the sign. I’m not saying whether or not the ‘Alcatraz Files’ exist. And, even if said files did exist, I’m not saying they have great or compromising photos.

When we started the second leg from Alcatraz to the GGB, the eddies were so strong, one group got caught in an eddy, and the others shot ahead. It was insane because we were all within 10 feet of each other and then we weren’t. Of course, we quickly regrouped, but not until the eddy spun one swimmer in tight little circles so much they likely got dizzy. The swimmer must have also become temporarily hypothermic and delirious. They couldn’t stop giggling in delight. Don’ these people know this is serious business 🤦🏻 ???

To make matters worse, the wind picked up, so we actually had to start swimming and swim through tight white water with 3-foot massive water swallowing chop.   What happened to the lake-like conditions we ordered??? WTF, SF Bay???

When we finally thought we had the second crossing in the bag, (BB to Rock was already a fait accompli), an inbound tanker took the outbound lane, and an outbound ship took the inbound lane, so we had to safely complete our swim 700 yards east of the GGB. Totally unfair that we couldn’t count the second crossing since the ebb should have been stronger so we would have already passed under the GGB.

Total injustice. Not fair. Cheated.

6.2 miles, 1 hour 43 minutes, 58F

TLDR, and the truthful non-sarcastic report (too long didn't read): great swim, flat and easy from BB to Rock, rough and choppy from rock to GGB. Shipping traffic picked up so we called the swim 7 minutes prior to reaching the GGB. Amazingly powerful ebb.

photos by Jeff & Sarah

Sarah sets the tone by diving in. The rest of us wimps gingerly slide in off the boat. We're east of the Bay Bridge and 6.5 miles from the Golden Gate, our destination